As originally published in Texas Wedding Guide by Donnie Brown
One thing about weddings that holds true pretty much everywhere I have been. People are drinking and partying and having a great time. You never know what you might overhear from these wedding revelers as the night goes on and the alcohol consumption flourishes. Here are a few I have witnessed personally:
- “The last time the bride saw 90210 she was standing on a bathroom scale.”
- “The bride just asked why all these people are looking at her.”
- “This chicken is drier than a popcorn fart!”
- “That hair color is not available in nature.”
- “Oh no, was that videographer close enough to hear what I just said?”
- “She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.”
- “I’m only 60. Do you think one of those bridesmaids might be into me?”
- “The groom’s mother is on a new diet consisting of only pineapple and bananas. She hasn’t lost any weight, but damn, you should see her climb a tree!”
- “I once slept with the groom. Only once though – He took a sleeping pill and a laxative before bed. NEVER AGAIN!”
- “That cake frosting is so yummy! I wonder when they are going to cut it?”
- “Love is grand. Divorce is one-hundred grand!”
- “I wonder if that’s a wash and wear bridal gown?”
- “She always said she’d marry money and she did – BITCH!”
- “Did you notice the minister rolling his eyes during the vows?”
- “$50 says the groom is gay!”
- “Can you believe she actually wore white? The bride is going to kill her!”
- “Mommy, what’s a Gold Digger?”
- “Don’t you think they could have picked a better first dance song than ‘Baby Got Back’?”
- “I begged her not to use the makeup artist from ‘Glamour Shots’!”
- MOB: “This florist did such a great job on the decor. I’m going to rehire them when she gets married next time!”
Source: New feed