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Articles Satire/Comedy

You Know You Are a Bridezilla If…..

bridezilla

  1. You no longer have fingerprints on your thumb and middle finger from snapping at everyone!
  2. You have fired more than one of your bridesmaids.
  3. Your floral designer has a video camera recording your follow-up meeting!
  4. You drive across town to get the 85 cents you were short changed at the wedding supply store.
  5. Your flower girl refuses to throw petals down the aisle because you offended her during the five hours of rehearsals!
  6. Your mother refuses go gown shopping with you.
  7. Your friends nickname you “Satan’s Crafty Minion”.
  8. Your wedding checklist has more than 300 entries on it.
  9. The groom made a rule that you are not allowed to say the word “wedding” after 6 PM.
  10. Your priest gives you 100 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Mary’s during confession.
  11. You watch all the wedding reality shows incessantly…  and Bridezilla’s is the one that really resonates with you!
  12. Your wedding planning book has five volumes.
  13. You go to the bridal show and find out your name is on a watch list.
  14. You start using your wedding guest list as a bargaining chip.
  15. You start calling wedding planners to help bail you out of a problem. When you tell them your name and they respond by saying “Oh I know who you are”!
  16. Facebook cancels your page due to multiple complaints.
  17. Your photographer drops off your bridal portrait at your front door and you realize it’s there when you hear them peal out of the driveway!
  18. You see a copy of the newspaper with your wedding announcement on the kitchen table with horns crudely drawn on your head in the photo.
  19. The doors open for your processional and the organist starts playing Tubular Bells from “The Exorcist”
  20. You arrive at your bridal shower and your girlfriends are holding signs saying “Intervention”!

Source: New feed