As seen in the Texas Wedding Guide
Hold on to your veil ladies, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Oh my God…. It actually happened. You got the ring. You got the guy. Spinsters beware… You are no longer destined to belong to their club. You are on your way to becoming Mrs. Smith. You’re best friends are going to be so jeal…. I mean happy for you. Can life get any better? Suddenly you hear the Friday the 13th theme playing in your head. Chh Chh Chh Haa Haa Haa – The blood curdling screams are incessantly screeching in your ears like a buzz saw cutting steel. What does it all mean? Don’t worry, you’ll find out right quick.
“Where do I begin?” Wedding planner? No wedding planner? ” I’m as smart as they are. Surely I can do this myself.” “What do I want”? “He wants what?” “What can I afford?” “Who will pay for it?” “What do you mean you lost my wedding fund in the stock market crash?” “It didn’t stop you from getting that mid-life-crisis sports car, Dad!” Now is the time to consider your options. You have to separate what you want from what your mother wants. Pick your battles. Quickly you learn that you will win some and lose some. Don’t roll over on everything though, or before you know it, it will be too late and the train will never pull back into that station.
It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. You have your eye on the ball and you will succeed. You will get the wedding you want. After all, you are a tough negotiator. This wedding doesn’t have to cost that much. Remember that time you talked your history professor into giving you an A after totally botching that mid-term. Continue to hone those incredible skills. The plan moves forward. You put one foot in front of the other again… And again… And again! The fact that the groom isn’t all that interested in the fine details is beginning to wear on your nerves. Don’t worry. He’ll get more inspired after a few nights in the dog house!
“That costs WHAT? Are you kidding?” This is time for the realization that every butter pat costs money. Why does everyone want you to rent lighting? Doesn’t the ballroom have lights? Why is it you can go to dinner at a steakhouse and get 12 oz of prime and all the fixins for $25 and the catering menu says $85 for nearly the same thing? Where are they getting the beef; the moon? $8 for a beer? Is this a joke? What do you mean food and beverage minimums and what on earth is service charges and gratuity? Welcome to the 21st century baby! You just started adding everything up and it is more money than your parents paid for their first house. And you still don’t have a band, favors, invitations or cake. What were you thinking that you could get by without a wedding planner? Is it too late? The real culture shock will be when you see that your wedding cake will cost as much as your gown. It’s flour and water and costs as much as silk, satin and lace.
“I can’t believe I signed those contracts! What was I thinking?” This is when the night sweats and obligatory nightmares start. Do yourself a favor and don’t use melatonin to help you sleep. It enhances the nightmares. It’s one thing to dream about your mother chasing you with a meat cleaver. It’s another thing all together to have that cleaver covered in blood. Not to mention the glistening fangs that seem to grow as they snap together above your head. Don’t worry. The nightmares will end the week of the wedding. That’s only one…two….three months away.
The most important thing you can do now is let go. You’ve planned your wedding. You’ve hired your vendors and selected your menu. The invitations are in the mail. There’s no going back now. At least that high stress you’ve experienced for the past few months has helped you to take off those pesky holiday pounds. So what if you have to get your gown altered again. It’s going to hug your hips come hell or high water.
It’s your wedding week. No more decisions. No more following up. No more realizing you forgot something. This is what it has all been about. You are destined to have a wedding, get married and live your life, filled with love! Sure, it was tough, it was stressful and of course very expensive, but you will always be able to look back on that day with pride and tell your children and grandchildren all about it.